Batman versus Superman

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With a movie looming featuring the two costumed capes fighting each other it’s a question that a comic book geek/nerd can happily contemplate, who would win a fight between the two?

Obviously, no matter what the comic books have decided, Superman always beats Batman. ALWAYS. The only reason in the comic books, and perhaps the movie, Batman manages to even stand up against Superman is due to the popularity of the Dark Knight, because he’s considered a dark tortured character and the modern day worship of wealth and wealthy people the Batman becomes a more attractive interesting character.

But not to me.

I find Batman fucking boring, yawn it’s the Batman beating Superman, yawn it’s the Batman beating Darkseid, yawn it’s the most overrated comic book character in superhero comics. To me Batman’s a fascist billionaire with a sexual fetish dressing up as a big bat creature and beating the living shit out of the poor. In Gotham that’s all he ever does, with all the corrupt officials, all the greedy evil criminal businessmen and bankers it’s the poor Batman is beating on, the poor and people with mental health issues and physical disabilities.

Batman is a right wing Republican asshole, he’d vote for Donald Trump endorse his fellow billionaire, he certainly wouldn’t back Ted Cruz, a Hispanic Republican because Batman’s also a bigoted asshole, he hates non-white Americans just as much as he hates the Joker, he hates the poor and people with mental health issues and physical disabilities. He’s not trying to save people or protect Gotham he’s just intent on working out his hatred on the most vulnerable people in any society by waging terror on victims of a world that already hates them.

I HATE the Batman masturbation of comic book writers all that stupid nonsense that makes Batman one of the most dangerous people in the world. And, though I hate him most of his colleagues in the Justice League hate him even more because he’s such a Republican asshole. Aquaman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Wonder Woman, they’d all like to kick Batman in his over inflated ego.

Superman I LOVE. He’s a glorious science fiction super character, the greatest fictional character ever created. The best origin tale. The best super powers. The best attitude of all the superheroes. Superman offers the people of Metropolis, and the world, hope he protects the poor and the most vulnerable, unlike Batman he, Superman, would sacrifice his own life to save everyone.

This Batman masturbation probably started in Frank Miller’s brilliantly flawed The Dark Knight Returns, don’t get me wrong it’s a great series but it’s an awful version of the Batman and an even worst version of the Man of Steel and not in keeping with the Man of Tomorrow’s persona. Batman not Superman would have supported the end of superheroes by the Republican government, Superman being a Democrat, or so I imagine. Think about it Superman’s upbringing screams Democrat his adopted parents, Jonathan and Martha Kent, instilled in the young Kal-El a sense of always doing the right thing no matter what and looking out for the most needy, that doesn’t sound very Republican does it? As Clark Kent Superman pursues news stories that deal with daily injustices, and early in his career as Superman he put the beat down on the super wealthy and the super corrupt not for him the hatred of poor people.

Superman’s most hated enemy is Lex Luthor, if Bruce Wayne had been a citizen of Metropolis and not Gotham he’d be Luthor he’d hate Superman and plot to kill him using his billions and his companies and subsidiaries to end the life of the last son of Krypton. That’s all Batman is Lex Luthor, two super wealthy assholes, and does Luthor ever beat Superman? Of course not because Superman’s not only more powerful he’s also smarter, not only smarter than Luthor but also smarter than Batman.

Even with an armoured suit and green kryptonite Superman would win, he’s not stupid enough, regardless of how creators write him, to battle Batman without figuring out he’d have to contend with green kryptonite. Superman, being super smart, would work out a way of negating Batman’s potential advantage, he could just use his flight power and from high above Gotham combine his laser, sounds more awesome than heat, vision and telescopic vision with his x-ray vision and burn away Batman’s green kryptonite without causing harm to the detective (who very rarely does any detecting) then using super speed and strength Superman would knock Batman out with a little tap to his over chiseled perfect, due to surgery, jaw.

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