Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires

Directed by Gareth Evans, written by Shane Black. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Van Helsing, Nicholas Hoult as the son, Charlize Theron as a European heiress/adventurer. Jackie Chan as the head of the Kung-Fu Family determined to rid his ancestral home of the vampire plague. Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Donnie Yen, Jet Li, Andy Lau, Chow Yun Fat and Aaron Kwok the vampires. Armie Hammer as Dracula.

Last night, during a shift at work, I was watching the original Hammer/Shaw Brothers movie Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires. It’s a movie I have great affection for and a movie I’d be happy to see re-made, just for me, featuring the people mentioned above.

When Hammer Horror returned to movie making I was hoping for a re-make of the Classics I love so much not just Golden Vampires but Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter also, which I also watched last night, Kronos was intended as a series with the vampire hunter fighting vampires throughout time, there was an idea to have a kind of Marvel comics vibe to the character and the movie series. It’s such a great idea, especially these days with movie universes being created, Hammer have a rich backlog to draw upon imagine a movie world featuring Kronos, Van Helsing, Dracula, Frankenstein, Father Shandor and the Karnstein family. An interesting and imaginative narrative could be weaved, a rich history expressing far out ideas about relevant subjects such as immigration, white folk are immigrants everywhere they go but especially white folk who speak English, North American white folk are Europeans and thus migrants to the American continent, Australians and Kiwi’s are Europeans, the English are from Germany and Scandinavia it could be an interesting topic to discuss within the context of a series of kickass violent horror movies. Also religions could be revealed to be manipulation by dark forces, Christianity, for example, seems more like Satanism than it does a religion of peace and love how often does one hear so called Christians howling like wolves for death to descend upon their imagined enemies? Shoot folk, stab folk, bomb from afar folk, especially if they’re foreign and Muslim. Alternatively because religious people are grossly, at times, misrepresented in movies have Christian characters be pacifists, be kind, generous and loving, because shouldn’t Christians be the nicest most understanding least violent and least bigoted people on the planet? I’ve always been of the opinion that they should.

Anyhow, I’ve spent the last few hours watching and thinking about movies and though I don’t get paid to watch and think about movies I manage to do so, and also complete the responsibilities and tasks that I am paid for.

I do have much love for old movies. I’m not a big fan of modern movies, I’m of the opinion modern movies suck, they’re poorly written, over long, and feature unmemorable characters I much prefer movies pre-1990. It’s just the way I am.

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