Destroy All Humans

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There exists a fun monster movie Destroy All Monsters the title leapt to mind today when I read about the violence in Belgium. When similar violence occurs in Syria, or Iraq, or Turkey no one, I know, cares there’s no expression of sympathy, no condemnation of the perpetrators, no anger, zero hate. Things change however when it’s white Europeans, or North Americans, killed in acts of atrocity suddenly the people I know are full of thoughts of revenge naturally that revenge comes in a form of ‘KILL ‘EM ALL!’

So yeah Destroy All Humans, sure we can be tribal at times like this note the differences and oddities between us and the people that carry out the violence you know the kind of differences they’re pretty obvious due to different shade of skin, language or accent, and at these present times religious belief.

But fuck all that.

This violence is nothing new. Human history is bloody, it’s violent, it’s full of wars, invasions, massacres, genocide. Full of HATE. We’re good at hate us humans.

I’m not the type to lay blame of acts of terror on Muslims I’m sure some Muslims are dicks and I’m sure some just aren’t just like some Christians are dicks and some just aren’t.

Forget noting the differences between peoples I prefer to note the similarities and respond to situations like terror attacks, and NATO bombings of Syria or Libya in this manner:

‘oh look humans killing other humans AGAIN it’s not enough the insane bastards kill every other animal on the planet they have to go kill each other. MEH!’

It’s a good opinion to express, or so I think, better to blame us all, for being human, rather than single out a few humans due to their physical or petty pathetic differences.

Daredevil Season 2

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Boy ain’t Daredevil like a breath of fresh air?

Though I enjoyed the first season I did find it similar to the first season of Arrow and for that reason it didn’t resonate with me as much as it did other fans.

Additionally I found the gangsters inept, incompetent and foolish none of them seemed real to me, which I guess doesn’t matter Daredevil is a TV show based upon a comic book and not set in our real world.

I also found The Kingpin to be a totally ineffectual character who could not have been a criminal mastermind binding disparate and rival criminal organisations together. I figure a character like Wilson Fisk would have been mocked and laughed at by other criminals not allowed to subjugate and dominate them.

However Daredevil season two features a far more interesting adversary for The Man Without Fear, Frank Castle is, and isn’t, a hero, he’s a murderous sociopath, a serial killer, a man prepared to do what no one in the real world’s ever dared do, try and wipe criminal scum off the face of the planet.

I’m not a violent, or aggressive person myself, and I don’t have an interest in serial killers or their motivations they’re monsters very real monsters who look just like me and just like you, because in the real world monsters are all too human. Though I don’t hero worship serial killers I would admire a serial killer who only targeted criminals, gangsters, pimps, drug dealers, thieves and robbers, rapists and murderers. It might make me sound kinda evil, bloodthirsty, but I’d love to live in a world in which criminal scum was annihilated, no fuss, no need for due process, just their dirty filthy bodies riddled with bullets.

The Punisher was never a character I ever had any interest in and then I read Punisher MAX, by Garth Ennis, the opening scenes in which he exterminates the Mafia is an absolute delight.

I’ve only watched the first episode of Daredevil season two and I was pleased to see a swift battle between The Punisher and Daredevil a battle that see’s The Punisher win, naturally in the comic book battles Daredevil has tended to hand The Punisher his ass and rightly so Daredevil has heightened senses and awesome martial arts skills, The Punisher is merely a hard as nails ex Special Forces headcase, he’d be difficult to beat in a fight but, and this is just my opinion, the man attired entirely in red would win the day.

With a Batman versus Superman movie looming, and a bad idea in comic books as well as the movies for the simple reason The Batman wouldn’t stand a chance, not one, not even wearing an Iron Man style suit of armour Superman would kick his ass in seconds but because The Batman’s more popular, for whatever fucked up reasons, The Batman will not only hold his own against the Man of Steel he’ll probably win. And sigh!

Now considering who would win between Daredevil and The Batman is a far more interesting premise, and a movie I’d, personally, prefer to see, yes I do know Daredevil is a Marvel Comics owned character and The Batman DC, still come on Batman versus Superman, who comes up with these crazy ideas?

Why not instead make a sequel to the most AWESOME movie Dredd? I know, for whatever fucked up reasons, Dredd didn’t do very well at the box office but that’s only because everyone, including myself, is a fucking idiot.

Hickman’s Secret Wars

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A long time ago in, what seems from this vantage point, a Galaxy far, far away Marvel Comics under the editorship of Jim Shooter published Secret Wars it was a big epic storyline conceived so that a bunch of Marvel’s premier heroes could do battle with some of the nastiest bad guys in comic book history. It was a series that preceded DC Comics Crisis on Infinite Earths however Secret Wars was in no way comparable to DC’s wonderful masterpiece.

Writer Jonathan Hickman’s Secret Wars just might be comparable however, a super long form, for superhero comics, storyline that kinda took shape in the writers run on the Fantastic Four and the spin-off series FF (Future Foundation) but really got moving in the writers run on The Avengers and New Avengers.

Here was a truly apocalyptic tale, one that couldn’t be easily resolved by super people smashing something or even by a bunch of super geniuses thinking of a solution to the problem of the end of Earth, of all Earths throughout the vast Marvel multiverse. In a way it was less grand than DC’s Crisis on Infinite Earths but it felt more epic, it felt more mythic.

Comic book writer Grant Morrison wrote in his book Supergods, my favourite book, that superheroes are the modern age’s new myths and legends they’re Herakles and Jason re-imagined for an age of wonders, because let’s face it we live in an age of wonders okay we don’t for the most part recognise that we do, or embrace that we do, but we really do and it’s a shame, I think, that we don’t celebrate this age of wonders.

In addition to writing Supergods Grant Morrison in some, but not all, of his superhero comic books touched upon the grand epic mythic-ness of superheroes for me the prime example is his work for 2000 A.D. in the form of Zenith that eventually led to a tale featuring dozens of superheroes from across multiple Earths forging together to stand against the horrors of the Lloigor, kind of Lovecraftian multi-dimensional space gods or cosmic monsters.

Marvel Comics hasn’t really, in my opinion, embraced the idea of their characters being mythic in nature the characters tend to be more down to earth than those appearing throughout DC Comics. They have a variety of psychological problems, nearly all of the superheroes are flawed, have mental health issues, make disastrous mistakes but in the end they tend to triumph over evil while at the same time receiving a hard time from their family, friends, the general public and the authorities at large.

Jonathan Hickman’s Secret Wars puts an end not only to the mundane everyday lives, character and behaviour of Marvel’s superheroes but also to both the Ultimate Universe and Earth-616 (the Marvel universe I’ve always known and loved since first picking up an issue of the Fantastic Four by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee).

Hickman weaved a story that led to the destruction of numerous Earths and thus their universes has it had been established that Earth really is at the centre of the universe, all universes, and somehow binds the universe together to destroy an Earth is to save, or destroy, a universe. The Illuminati (Reed Richards, Doctor Strange, Black Panther, Namor, the Beast and Iron Man) actually do doom several Earths to save their own while Captain America’s Avengers make attempt to put an end to The Illuminati all of this end of the multiverse doom and gloom leads to Doctor Strange and Doctor Doom confronting the orchestrators of Earths dooms The Beyonders multi-dimensional all powerful beings that unfortunately in the hands of one comic book artist looked like baked potatoes in suits of poorly rendered armour.

While the last remaining Earths 616 and Ultimate fight each other for survival Doom and Strange stood down The Beyonders and with (A LOT of) help from Molecule Man defeated the creators of the Marvel Multiverse and Doom took it upon himself to try and save some semblance of reality.

Thus was born the new Secret Wars, Doom became a God, or THE God, and created Battleworld an amalgamation of various Marvel Universe realms and realities including X-Men ’92, Age of Apocalypse, Spider-Island and many others.

Reading Secret Wars issue by issue became something of a joke the series expanded several times and gaps between issues meant that when Marvel Comics re-launched their entire line the final issue of Secret Wars hadn’t been published. It didn’t matter much to me, I’m pretty easy going, and enjoyed the comics for what they were regardless of out of phase continuity and unresolved larger plot lines.

Today, Thursday 17th of March 2016, was comic book day, for me, this meant a short, two minute, walk to my local comic book store and the purchase of this week’s comic book goodies, the purchase of which manage to keep me sane, maybe. I happily bought Phonogram volume three, Grant Morrison’s Nameless, Warren Ellis’ Blackcross and Jonathan Hickman’s Secret Wars and what an absolute joy it was to read from beginning to end Hickman’s mythic tale.

There are a lot of good ideas within the confines of the Secret Wars trade if I were to sum up the collected series using just one word I’d choose awesome, yes it’s a word often used out of context these days but in this case, and for me a forty four year old bloke who still loves Marvel Comics, Secret Wars is truly awesome, indeed I dare lay claim that it is AWESOME! I like the emphasis capital letters add to a word, the gravitas the grandeur.

The book begins with a re-cap that let’s a reader know what’s been happening deaths of universes, Reed Richards trying to save a small group of those he determines are worthy, clever superhero science types and their families, but it all goes badly wrong people are lost, including Reed’s family and while all this is happening Doom dares confront and defeat The Beyonders saving millions and stealing Reed’s wife, and fathering Reed’s children.

Though Doom is a super genius he’s also possessive of a super ego so the world he remakes is completely flawed and bound to eventually fall. Naturally there’s a big old conceit in this re-creation of the Marvel Earth some bright spark, perhaps Jonathan Hickman himself, ventured forth the idea that this new world of God Doom should be named Battleworld, much like the world from the original Secret Wars series, but this world would contain multiple variations of our most beloved characters torn from the pages of cherished storylines for example from the X-Men books there’s Age of Apocalypse; E is for Extinction; House of M; Inferno; Old Man Logan; X-Men ’92; X-Tinction Agenda and Years of Future Past, multiple versions of the X-Men, which I had a problem getting my head around, there are other problems with the spin-offs, in the main series, Secret Wars, it’s established, by Doctor Strange, that this Battleworld is only eight years old and that only he, God Doom and Molecule Man remember the previous realities the spin-off titles chose not to recognise these established facts and make  reference to greater lengths of time having passed and even have characters remembering the past realities. It was a flaw in the overall cross company story arc that kinda let it down, it could have been handled so much better and really delved into the mythical nature of these superhero stories I enjoy so much.

Never mind.

Fortunately Hickman’s writing manages the mythic and builds a world that is far more interesting than other writers managed to make use of. For instance there’s the entire death of Earth 616, the 1961 – 2015 birth and death date felt like a punch in my nuts when I first saw it and immediately a great sadness swept across my entire being. I have only known two people, in the entire world, longer than I have known, and loved, Earth 616 its death left me sad for many days, it was a sadness that I experienced upon re-reading that birth and death date, but I managed to get over it far quicker, because as you probably know the Marvel Universe isn’t dead it’s alive and kicking a shade different than before as though Marvel Comics took inspiration from DC’s revamp of Batgirl.

Still powerful stuff something I’d known, and loved, for forty of my years suddenly ceasing to exist. We are strange creatures, we humans, we can feel sadness at the end of fictional creations, the death of unreal people, but turn a blind eye, bury our heads in the sand, to real life tragedies. The Syrian Crisis for example, the administrators of our nations, perhaps at the behest of their lords and masters, are choosing to abandon the last vestiges of whatever humanity they possessed and allow refugees, women and children, fleeing a warzone to die without hint of dignity or by lifting a hand to help those desperately in need and no matter how many ordinary people do something to help it won’t be enough because only our governors can save those desperate lost peoples. Our governors can save us all but choose not to.

Anyways.

Immediately after the death of Earth 616 we’re offered the first fantastic idea of this new Secret Wars, Battleworld is policed by God Doom’s powerful Thor Corps, multiple versions of Mjolnir exist and those deemed worthy are plucked from their homes to see if they can wield the blessed hammer, if they can they become a Thor, detectives, security, God Doom’s enforcers and army. It’s a brilliant concept that should have been used in the regular, all new, Marvel Universe but so far has not.

I was pleased, as a fan of Hickman’s Future Foundation stories to see the super science kids used throughout Secret Wars, they’ve been a breath of fresh air to the Marvel Universe but only Hickman seems capable of using them properly, here in this series the kids, and Dragon Man, are investigators, explorers, philosophers and super scientists tasked with figuring strange things out. Again, and for me, a series featuring the kids exploring the new Marvel multiverse would be a smashing idea, get Jonathan Hickman to write it and Esad Ribic and Olivier Coipel to take turns illustrating story arcs of the comic book and I’d be most pleased.

Hickman pours out some great ideas in Secret Wars, Battleworld is run akin to a medieval fiefdom. The Shield a greater version of the Great Wall of China protects Battleworld from the threats from the Deadlands, Marvel’s Zombies, the Annihilation Wave and the many different versions of Ultron. Molecule Man is the source of God Doom’s power.

Naturally God Doom knows, deep down, he’s made a flawed ridiculous world and that his hold upon it is tenuous at best, Doom, like Thanos, is the biggest threat to his plans of power it’s as though he wills himself to fail before he’s even made a grab for ultimate power. It’s an interesting idea that a person’s uncertainties, ego, arrogance and ignorance are the causes of their downfall. I like it.

God Doom watching everything fall apart senses a hidden hand pulling the strings and at first he believes this hand to belong to the Black Panther enveloped as it is within an Infinity Gauntlet but during their brief battle, reminiscent to that of Mad Jim Jasper’s and The Fury’s in Alan Moore and Alan Davis’ Captain Britain, only nowhere near as good, God Doom defeats the Black Panther but too late realises that the hand behind his present misfortunes belongs to his oldest and most hated enemy Reed Richards.

At the end of the series with God Doom defeated Reed’s son Franklin becomes the creator, not only of the Marvel Universe but the multiverse, bringing into fictional being the idea that Franklin Richards controls the Marvel Universe. Not only does Reed, with the power of Molecule Man at his disposal, recreate the Marvel multiverse, alongside his son, he also manages what God Doom could not restoring Doom’s face.

It’s a beautiful ending to an AWESOME story, the Future Foundation with guardians Reed, Sue and maybe Molecule Man go off to catalogue, reference and explore the all new Marvel multiverse and Hell that’s a series I really, REALLY, want to read in comic books and see onscreen at a cinema or maybe as a TV series it could be America’s answer to Britain’s Doctor Who only on a grander more epic scale.

If only.

Crime Fighters

During time at my place of employ I was making mention that I believe if my nation, any nation, adopted a policy of feeding its prisoners and well known criminals, both street level scum and corporate/government level assholes, feet first into industrial sized wood chippers, or meat grinders, the nation would be a much better place.

Imagine living in a nation that murdered violently, and gloriously, all of its criminals and its scum surely life for non-criminals would improve almost immediately. People would be able to leave their cars and homes unlocked, kids could safely play outside, drunken women with no fear of rape roam town and city centres.

My idea of murder on a massive scale of my nations bad guys proved controversial I was compared to Adolf Hitler, yet my idea doesn’t advocate the industrial scale murder of people due to religious belief or skin pigmentation I didn’t find the comparison offensive too be honest I’ve heard it all before and been called much worse.

I’ve noticed, here in Britain, British people, mainly English, are, know, socialise with, have relationships with criminal scum and this criminal scum rather than be hated and condemned is instead admired and defended.

British political parties hardly ever condemn criminals and neither does the mass media. During political debates issues range from education and health and especially focuses upon immigration. If one was to form an opinion based solely on the media and words from our criminal politicians one would have the opinion that immigrants are a blight on society, that they commit all crimes while leeching off the Welfare State no one ever seems to express an opinion that a lot wrong with, any given, society is the native scum it produces.

Maybe it’s just me. I’ve grown up immersed daily in worlds of superheroes and dark vigilantes such worlds offer the idea that criminals, bad guys, require a good kick in the ass, a swift crunching fist to the chin, followed by a heavy boot to their brain dead heads. Or better yet machine gunned to death, their indecent vile little shit bodies riddled with hot lead, or their ugly fucking heads parted from their necks.

If my opinion is in some way fascist then I happily embrace fascism. Proudly claim myself a fascist. I’d sooner be a fascist and absolutely have nothing but fucking hate for criminals than worship the complete wastes of skin. I’d sooner be The Batman or The Punisher than The Joker or The Kingpin.

Robin Hood Was A Tree?

I do think having a tree play Robin Hood is a grand idea, the Sheriff of Nottingham could be played by a rock, Maid Marian a pretty flower.

Apparently in a new Robin Hood movie, sub-titled Origins, Little John is to be portrayed by Jamie Foxx, now I’m an English fella, Robin Hood is an English legend and not once, EVER, have I read of Little John, or any of the Merry Men, being of dark skin. Being English, especially back in the days of King John and Richard the Lionheart, was to be Anglo-Saxon and ALL those historic Anglo-Saxon folk, including the fictional Little John, were whiter than I am.

I suppose I shouldn’t make complaint after all Noah, Moses and Jesus have previously been portrayed as white fella’s when I figure they’d have looked more like Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden and Colonel Gaddafi, and not just the way like they look now DEAD but how they looked when they were living. Hmm, maybe Noah wouldn’t look very much like Saddam Hussein isn’t Noah described in the Bible as white (glowing) with red hair making him sound Celtic in origin?

Although, and as far as I’m aware, Noah, Moses and Jesus are as fictional as Little John and I guess it doesn’t matter how fictional characters are portrayed in other fictional works Superman can be portrayed by Barack Obama, Wonder Woman by Beyoncé, the latter really does make sense weren’t Amazons in Greek Myth dark skinned?

Making comments of this type probably makes me sound like a bigot, I’ve never considered myself as such, but I am an Anglo-Saxon, an English Briton living in a nation that is pre-dominantly white and a nation in which most people I’ve met have also been English Britons and massively bigoted.

For example, the English Britons I’ve met HATE Scottish Britons, Welsh Britons, Irish Britons, they HATE just as much the French, Germans, Eastern Europeans, Spaniards, Italians, Turkish, Iraqi’s, Syrians, Libyans, Mexicans, Cubans, Americans, Canadians, and even have HATE for each other, HATE of people from other towns and counties, HATE of people who support rival football teams. There’s a lot of HATE expressed by English Britons in my experience and I’m sure a lot of them, especially here in Nottinghamshire, are spitting feathers at Little John being portrayed by Jamie Foxx, if the stories are true naturally.

Personally I don’t actually care I have no interest in watching new Robin Hood movies, I haven’t watched Prince of Thieves or Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood, there are only two Robin Hood movies worth wasting one’s time watching, in my opinion, The Adventures of Robin Hood starring Errol Flynn and Robin and Marian starring Sean Connery, one Robin Hood Australian and the other Scottish.

My Favourite Superhero Movie

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I think about movies A LOT my day usually goes a little like this:

I wake up thinking about movies. I go to work thinking about movies. At work I’m thinking about movies and sometimes watching movies. On my way home from work I’m thinking about movies. At home I’m watching movies and thinking about other movies.

Today during the viewing of Royal Warriors, starring Michelle Khan (Yeoh), I was thinking a lot about Eighties movies how Spielberg made his best movies during the 1980’s, except for Jaws which is the best movie ever made, in my opinion at least. John Carpenter made his best movies in the Eighties Assault on Precinct 13, Escape From New York, Big Trouble In Little China and of course the second best movie ever made The Thing. Due to my viewing of an Eighties kung-fu action movie I was also thinking about Jackie Chan movies and how all his starring role movies of the Eighties were amazingly awesome Police Story, Police Story 2, Police Story 3, Project A, Wheels On Meals, Armour of God, Dragons Forever, it made me wish the United Kingdom would exchange with China England for Hong Kong, because since Hong Kong became part of China movies from that area of the world have been poor indeed compared to Hong Kong movies pre-China re-integration, I figure the Chinese government puts pressure on the movie industry to make movies that are less entertaining but culturally and historically important to the Chinese government. Well you know what China fuck your promoting of China via the movie industry give the movies back to the creators and let’s have something as barmy as God of Gamblers once again. Please.

Thoughts of a movie nature eventually centred on the fact, as far as I’m concerned, that modern movies suck, especially in comparison to Eighties flicks, modern movies seem stuck in a rut, they’re so fucking bland paying for a cinema ticket seems an insult cinema visits should be free. In addition, and again in my opinion, movies these days are so poorly written I figure a little kid wrote the scripts using a big fat wax crayon. That was melting all over the kids chubby little fingers. Which sounds dirtier than I intended.

Big budget blockbusters tend to be remakes, reboots, re-imaginings or influenced heavily by comic books, now I’m a self confessed comic book geek, I always have been I always will be as long as there’s a comic book industry, however I care not at all for comic book movies, other than Superman I and II, Spider-Man 1 and 2 and Scott Pilgrim versus The World, I’m of the opinion that the Wachowski brothers made the best superhero movie, The Matrix, and so far no one’s come close to making a better superhero flick.

Neo’s superhero origin is better than all the comic book heroes origins except for Superman’s, nothing beats Superman’s origin story.

Doomed planet.

Desperate scientists.

Last hope.

Kindly couple.

Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely managed Superman’s origin with just four panels on one page, a movie these days wastes its entire time on a superheroes origin, a new Spider-Man movie means a new version of the characters origin. Why?

The Matrix is not only the best superhero movie it’s the coolest superhero story, it steals from some stuff I love Grant Morrison’s The Invisibles, Ghost in the Shell, kung-fu movies and it mixes it all together perfectly. I love The Matrix, it’s hard for me to understand how any geek kinda doesn’t, you know the type, ‘oh it’s alright’, fuck off it’s a geeky wet dream right there on the screen, cinema or more likely these days TV.

Obviously not relying on comic book source material helps The Matrix be, hands down, the best superhero movie the look of the film is more stylish and unique than any superhero movie I’ve ever seen, add the fashion and ‘I know kung-fu’ and Marvel Studios just cannot compete.

EVER!

What I don’t understand is why there’s not more related material in existence, where are all the cool comic books set in The Matrix? Where are the video games? The animated series? The live action TV series? Additional movies?

The Matrix is THE franchise ripe for exploration, anything can happen, comedy, horror, thriller, action movie, kung-fu movie, buddy cop, serious drama, kitchen sink misery.

If I was a filmmaker (and it’s a good job I’m not because all my ideas sound ace, to me, but are actually probably wank, Flash Gordon versus Star Trek; Star Wars versus Cthulhu; Battlestar Galactica versus Aliens; Superheroes versus Alien Invasion versus Zombie Apocalypse) I’d be insisting that the world needs a new movie set in The Matrix, perhaps a small comedy movie to begin with think Office Space, Neo as Thomas Anderson worked in an office he had terrible timekeeping was regularly reprimanded there’s a dry black comedy right there, and then there’s the horror it was established in the sequels to The Matrix that vampires and ghosts exist run with that, some crazy horny teens drinking and fucking doing drugs ascend to a level of consciousness that allows them to realise they’re inside a computer program, cue the arrival of a deletion program in the form of a nasty vampire, extreme blood and gore follow with some physics bending action as the teens figure if the world they exist within isn’t real then they can run up walls and leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I don’t get how The Matrix wasn’t bigger, in other mediums, than it turned out, I can remember back in the day hoping for some really interesting, brilliantly written comic books featuring amazing artwork that expanded upon all the ideas the Wachowski’s threw onto a cinema screen, there could have been a series of outrageously awesome comic books that explored philosophical ideas and the nature of reality as we perceive and experience it and I kinda feel robbed, cheated if you like, that such material never materialised.

Bichunmoo

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A quick review of the South Korean Movie, with a little commentary. Basically Bichunmoo teaches a viewer that you can’t have anything nice and everything you love in life (including your life) will be taken away from you by bastards. That is all. The end.

Good job I re-watched the movie having had a good day, if I’d had a bad (my dog had died, I had lost my wallet containing my life savings and I had been run over by a bus) day this movie would have pushed me over the edge and I’d be saying right now, “yep that’s me done, seeya world”.

Previously On AMC’s The Walking Dead

Everyone’s still a fucking idiot. I believe the zombies, or walkers, exhibit far greater intelligence than the humans. I also believe that if Rick and gang were real people living in this mad crazy real world they’d vote for Donald Trump in this year’s Presidential Election. Future President Trump might just be one of those high functioning zombies occasionally seen in zombie movies, think a less intelligent version of Bob from Day of the Dead.

February Movies

The Fury; Re-animator; Shaun of the Dead; The X-Files; Rio Bravo; Hot Fuzz; Con Air; Where Eagles Dare; Spectre; Dr No; Tango and Cash; Predator; Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires; Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter; Scars of Dracula; Men in Black; Men in Black 2; Men in Black 3.

I failed to watch a lot of movies in February I had planned a kung-fu movie fest but ended up watching episode after episode of both The X-Files and Millennium instead, The X-Files is a joy for me, Millennium however isn’t.

I watched all February’s movies, except Spectre, during night shifts at work, whilst performing work related duties, and also whilst sitting on my fat ass drinking tea and eating cookies.

Let’s, for the reason of a blog post, take a look at some of those movies.

Re-Animator is pure Eighties horror joy. It had been a good few years since I had last watched the movie and I really enjoyed making it’s reacquaintance it could, for me, have been far gorier but overall it’s a fine old horror flick.

Shaun of the Dead is in my opinion the best zombie movie ever made and the fact it’s British brings me great joy. Some, perhaps most, of us Brits do spend an unhealthy amount of time drinking alcohol in public houses and so the movie offers us relevant themes and familiar situations. It’s Simon Pegg’s best movie and I find his performances in Brit flicks far more interesting and engaging than his roles in movies like Mission Impossible and Star Trek.

Rio Bravo is perfection and possibly the greatest western ever made.

Hot Fuzz is Simon Pegg’s second best movie. If you’re reading this and you’re British and aware of TV shows like Midsomer Murders than you recognise the tropes of this particular movie. Midsomer Murders is a cop drama set in various English villages, every episode there is at least one murder and of the few episodes I’ve seen there are always characters with dark secrets relevant to the murder case and supernatural undertones that are revealed before the end of each episode to be fake.

Con Air is quite possibly my favourite American action movie. It’s completely insane and that’s why I enjoy it.

Where Eagles Dare is just amazing. The scene in which Clint Eastwood’s character annihilates a bunch of Nazi’s on a stairwell is joyful, just before he unleashes death upon the Nazi’s he pauses for a moment to allow them the realisation they’re going to die. I’ve always enjoyed watching Nazi’s die onscreen, they’re the most worthy of death bad guys in cinema history.

Spectre suffered from the ills most modern movies suffer from. It sucked! I think the Bond franchise should be laid to rest, everything that can be said has been said leave the character to die and rot and maybe twenty or thirty years down the line, if the world is still the same, remake the entire series.

In March I will struggle valiantly to watch more movies, though I am quite busy with work, college courses and efforts to create fiction, I don’t know about you but I find there’s not enough time in a day to fit in everything I want to do. Work, college courses, writing and illustration, exercise, reading, watching TV box sets and movies I’m glad I don’t have an active social life, a relationship or children if I did there just wouldn’t be time for personal pursuits. In life each person as to make the decision to sacrifice something so they can live life the way they want I’ve made my sacrifices friends, romance, fatherhood all three were the least important things in my life and so had to be cut out and I’ve never regretted it and I never will.