Vote Leave Britain


I am convinced the British voters are going to Vote Leave and I’m convinced that once Britain eventually leaves the EU that Britain, if it still exists as a political union, will be the North Korea of Europe. Now that might seem a little bit extreme but isn’t Britain’s largest export to the rest of the world weapons of mass destruction? Maybe the Vote Leave brigade think it’s okay to arm, and then bomb and invade, the rest of the world. I don’t. Can Britain as a nation going it alone sustain its economy on weapon sales alone? Maybe? But yeah we’re going to be the North Korea, the South Africa during apartheid, of Europe.

Anyone who believes otherwise is daft enough to Vote Leave. To quote the late and great Bill Hicks ‘You know how in many parts of our troubled world they are yelling ‘revolution! revolution!’ In Tennessee they are yelling ‘evolution…we want our thumbs.’

The Vote Leave campaign is like those folks from Tennessee they’re envious of Europeans because they have opposable thumbs, hasn’t anyone else noticed that Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and Nigel Farage look really unevolved? Their brows are real heavy looking, they drag their knuckles along the ground when they walk and they have no opposable thumbs, honest go watch news footage and you’ll see, it can’t just be me that’s noticed. Unless that’s my gift to notice other humans who aren’t Homo Sapiens but are probably Neanderthals or something earlier Australopithecus perhaps?

I can imagine, in my mind’s eye, Britain years after Brexit and it is the movie Idiocracy hopefully I’ll be dead before then beaten to death by a primitive human who during the EU Referendum backed the Vote Leave brigade. I can see it now:

Vote Leave Caveman: UGH! Who ya fucken’ vot four cunt?

Me: Pardon? I didn’t understand your guttural attempts at the English language could you speak intelligibly?

Vote Leave Caveman (removes banana from his, or her it’s hard to tell because male and female look the same, anus): Ya tekkin’ piss?

Me: No I don’t wish to urinate this isn’t a public toilet it’s a polling station for the EU Referendum.

Vote Leave Caveman (or cavewoman because it’s still hard to tell the difference picks up a rock and bashes my head in): SMASHYAFUCKENHEDIN!

Me (head caved in brains instead of shit pouring out of my cracked open noggin): ARGH! I CRY I DIE!


One thought on “Vote Leave Britain

  1. iu. m

    took me a while to think of the reason they did, and it must be envy. I’d be envious too if I had refused to go to University and saw a European get that nice Manager position

    Liked by 1 person

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