Brexit: I’m Loving It Part One

I had planned on writing two blog posts about Brexit, 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later, but events have been far worst than I imagined. Instead I’ll share my Facebook status updates concerning Brexit, I only have six Facebook friends for two reasons the first is I don’t like people and the second is I don’t know anyone (not really) because I don’t like people. It’s probably a good idea that I don’t like or know anyone and that I only have six Facebook friends if had more I’d probably be dead right now because I’ve got to be honest I am being a dick about Brexit and I’m loving it. Before Brexit I had no love for the British peoples, especially the Little Englanders, people who knew me from school to work to family and friends knew me for one reason I was the nob head always being highly critical of Little Englanders and naming (correctly as it now seems) them stupid fucking racist cunts. In my hometown of Mansfield seventy per cent of voters decided to Vote Leave, SEVENTY PER CENT, they did so because they are xenophobic, they did so because they are bigots, they did so because they are racists, they did so because they have shit for brains.

Anyhow here are my posts from Saturday 25th June until today I didn’t save my Friday 24th status update because I was super angry:

SATURDAY UPDATE

Yesterday was quite possibly the angriest I’ve ever been. I was still full of piss and thunder when I retired to my bed just before 22:00 so much piss and thunder I couldn’t settle I was up at 0:00 and again just after 02:00 and I finally made the effort to rise at about 05:30. But now it’s late in the morning (for me) and all my hate and anger, all that piss and thunder, as disappeared leaving behind a sense of bemusement at people who backed Vote Leave and a feeling of amusement.

Brexit is over for me. I’m done. I backed Vote Remain and lost like the perpetual loser that I am and I’m kinda glad because whatever happens here in Britain next is naught to do with me. I lost this isn’t my Britain, this isn’t the Britain I wanted to live in, this is a racist xenophobic Britain because that’s how Vote Leave won.

But have the voters who backed Vote Leave won anything? They’ll replace one toff Tory Boy with another toff Tory Boy, so no victory there. If there’s an early General Election due to Brexit I imagine the Tory Boys will win, so no victory there. As far as I’m aware the £350 million pounds a week promised to the NHS, education, jobs and housing never existed it was fictional and the money Britain used to pay for EU membership was probably borrowed anyway. And as for immigration (the reason seventeen million people plus decided to Brexit) it’s not going to go away anytime soon, if ever, Vote Leave admitted yesterday that immigration will still happen regardless of whether Vote Leave ‘Takes Back Control’ and Boris Johnson (future unelected Prime Minister?) said that immigrants aren’t going to be deported.

So what did supporters of Vote Leave win? If the promised EU money doesn’t exist and immigrants aren’t going to be forced home and future immigrants aren’t going to be prevented from entering the country what did those who backed Vote Leave vote for?

Like I said for me this entire Brexit is over I’m a loser (puts thumb and index finger up to forehead forming a L shape and voices, aloud, the word LOSER over and over again) but what do the Vote Leave winners do now? For them it’s only just begun and if nothing at all changes, everything pre-Brexit remains the same, what’s their next move?

SUNDAY UPDATE ONE

Aww! Poor Northern Ireland out of Europe, against it’s wishes, twice in two days. At first I HATED Brexit now I’m loving it. Best thing that’s ever happened to Britain NOT because we’re out of the EU, we’re not yet, we might not ever be, and even if we are we’re still going to have to do a deal with the EU which basically means we never left.

I’m loving it that I was right Vote Leave lied and it’s supporters are morons. The experts said Brexit was bad for Britain the economy was fucked on Day One (Friday) but briefly saved by the Bank of England (a private organisation) loaning Britain £250 billion quid, yes we have to pay that back (with interest) the Bank of England must have been laughing into its already fat coffers.

I’m loving it that some, a lot so it seems, of Vote Leave supporters didn’t know what they were voting for, didn’t know what the EU was, or what Brexit meant. Morons.

I’m loving it that Nigel Farage lied and Boris Johnson lied and Michael Gove lied and that my fellow Brits believed them.

I’m loving it that immigrants are NOT going to be kicked out of Britain and that immigration is NOT going to be tackled. Vote Leave already admitting the day after the vote and the day after they were saying ‘Take Back Control’ that they’re NOT going to have control.

I’m loving it that there’s not £350 million quid a week for the NHS and education and jobs and houses. It was a Vote Leave lie.

I’m loving it that Britain is fucked and it’s been fucked by all those people who claim to love it the most. I’ve always HATED Britain, England especially, and now I’ve kinda gotten what I’ve always wanted a fucked Britain, a Britain in inner turmoil, a Britain that can’t blame the EU or foreigners for its current and future predicament because the fault lies with those Brits who supported Vote Leave.

I’m loving it and I’d like to thank Vote Leave you’ve made my dreams come true so THANKS! In the space of a few days I’ve gone from anger to laughing like a loon, I might be bi-polar or maybe, just maybe reality has begun to sink in and it’s as grim as I imagined 28 Days Later indeed.

SUNDAY UPDATE TWO

I’m not (EVER) going to shut up about Brexit. I’m forty four now I might (maybe? possibly?) live for another forty four years and I’m going to go on and on about Brexit every day for those forty four years.

Some people from Vote Leave and Vote Remain claim that we’re now all in it together, didn’t sound like that before Brexit, in fact Brexit is all about being an isolationist and as a person who sensibly based on truthful information backed Vote Remain I can happily say I refuse to be in this together, I’m choosing being an isolationist.

And I believe that this is the truth:

PEOPLE WHO VOTED LEAVE ARE BIGOTS AND IDIOTS and I also believe that this new Britain outside of the EU (well not yet outside and maybe, just maybe, never outside) is nothing to do with me everything bad that’s happening leading to a ruined economy, a loss of jobs, an increase in food prices, a broken political union and on and on almost endlessly is NOTHING to do with me I engaged my brain and backed Vote Remain.

I have never believed Britain is great, it’s never, in my opinion, been great, it will never, during my lifetime at least (which might, hopefully, be well shorter than forty four years) be great.

The EU Referendum was (from my point of view) a British Civil War, but without all the violence, Vote Remain lost I’m a metaphorical corpse on a battlefield this new Britain ain’t nothing to do with me my Britain died Friday morning. This new Britain is Vote Leave’s Britain and they’re welcome to it. I believe this is what’s known as a pyrrhic victory Vote Leave defeated it’s enemies but inherited a burnt out war zone.

MONDAY UPDATE ONE

Little Englander (Vote Leave supporter) Mother and Father: “No son/daughter you can’t go to McDonalds.”

Son/Daughter: “But why Mater and Pater?”

Little Englander Mother and Father: “Because Mater and Pater backed Brexit.”

Son/Daughter: “What does that mean?”

Little Englander Mother and Father: “We don’t know, Mater and Pater have shit for brains, but we do know we don’t have any money and we do know you kids have no future. You’ll have to sell your ass, cock, pussy on the streets of a foreign land or stay here in Little England eat shit and be poor like Mater and Pater.”

Son/Daughter: “Will we have shit for brains when we grow up?”

Little Englander Mother and Father: “Most likely son/daughter most, if not all, Little Englanders do.”

MONDAY UPDATE TWO

No I’m really, really, really not going to shut the fuck up about Brexit so here goes another Facebook status update.

It has been claimed Nigel Farage is THE most important British politician since Winston Churchill. It has been claimed Nigel Farage is a Little England Hitler. How ironic.

And, I’ve just remembered, due to the fact I have the season finale of Game of Thrones to watch tomorrow, that House Lannister won the EU Referendum. GEE WHIZZ NERDS!

Apparently two-thirds of nerds backed Vote Leave. Apparently. I’m not sure how anyone knows wasn’t the vote anonymous?

MONDAY UPDATE THREE

Little England:

First they came for the immigrants. Then they came for those of Asian, African and Caribbean descent. Then they came for the fatties, the gays and the ginger’s.

Apparently two-thirds of British people of Asian, African and Caribbean descent along with two-thirds of fatties, gays and ginger’s voted for Brexit.

No the irony isn’t lost on me.

MONDAY UPDATE FOUR

With the FTSE crashing (and no end in sight) and the pound worth less than a peanut will recession bring mass unemployment? And with Poland’s economy being one of the fastest growing in Europe will millions of Brits have to go to Poland to find work? Funny a nation of people who HATE immigrants might themselves become immigrants. Oh the irony.

Something else, I’ve noticed, Little Englanders all my life have been full of HATE paki this and nigger that and whenever they’ve been criticised for such their response has been “it’s only banter” funny to me now that Little Englanders are incapable of taking HATE right back at ’em. Hey it’s only banter, for a country of people to constantly use banter as a means to express themselves I find it funny that since Brexit they’ve done nothing but cry about being called morons, idiots, bigots, xenophobes and racists. If Little Englanders can’t take it they should never have doled it out.

At my place of work my job is to support people with Learning Disabilities I’ve realised, with recent events, that’s all I’ve been doing my entire life.

MONDAY UPDATE FIVE

Brexit the gift that keeps on giving. Future Little England (after Great Britain becomes sadly no more) top government officials:

Prime Minister = Nigel Farage. If Brexiteer supporters want a Prime Minister who speaks for them he’s the only man for the job.

Chancellor of the Exchequer = A Potato. Because potatoes will be worth more than the pound.

MONDAY UPDATE SIX

Whatever happened to Britain’s Independence Day? Boris Johnson pre-Brexit declared we’d be independent but so far no big parties of celebration no events organised for this Friday to celebrate one week out of the EU.

Was Independence Day yet another lie?

Oh, and while I’m here, Vote Leave, and UKip, claimed that out of the EU meant out of the single market, that the single market has hampered British business and prosperity for decades.

Today campaigners from Vote Leave plead with the EU to allow Britain access to the single market because reality dawns and now it seems the rest of the world isn’t such an attractive economic prospect.

Oh dear Brexit, things can only get better, or worst depending on perspective and one’s own hopes and dreams.

TUESDAY UPDATE ONE

Since Friday I’ve noticed that Mansfield (and the surrounding areas) smells like shit at first I thought it must be manure from farmer’s fields this morning I’ve realised that it’s the brains of Little Englanders that I can smell.

TUESDAY UPDATE TWO

Having placed my Euromillions bet can anyone expect any millions tonight? Or is top price a turnip and a pint of sour milk?

You know if I was this full of myself over Brexit and England crashing out of Euro 2016 at work I figure someone would probably stab me in the face. Or if I actually liked people and knew more than a dozen people I’d probably find myself stabbed in the face.

Good job I’m a misanthrope and anthrophobe.

WEDNESDAY UPDATE ONE

I’ve been thinking (because I can unlike most people in Mansfield and Little England) that this new Brexit land I now inhabit needs a new flag. I have a few ideas:

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