You’ve Never Read A Comic Book? Part One

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What do you mean you’ve never read a comic book? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

The above picture is my backlog of comic book reads. I buy ‘em but I’m usually fucking about on the Internet bitching about British people being as dumb as fuck or pissing English patriots off by pointing out they can’t spell their grammar is shit and to be proud of your country also means having a fucking good grasp of its language.

I FUCKING LOVE COMIC BOOKS!

They’re like the movies only not shit, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this, and it’s something I often like to point out to people, movies are fucking shit. There’s no script, actors can’t and directors are too busy tripping out on drugs to make a decent flick. It’s Hollywood everyone’s a depraved child fucking drug addict.

FUCK THE MOVIES!

Now most people I’ve met in my life haven’t read a comic book, EVER, and when I meet those types of people I always respond thusly, “WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN COMIC BOOKS ARE FOR KIDS? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT AND THE REASON YOU’VE NEVER READ A COMIC BOOK IS BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING RETARD!”

Then I usually head butt them or kick them in the nuts. Head butt if it’s a girl I’m shouting at, if it’s a boy foot to nuts. I prefer hitting boys because if you hit a girl you’re going to Hell. Or you would if there were a Hell, good fucking job there’s not.

I’ve decided, in my infinite wisdom, to stop being a dick on the Internet, and to stop uploading pictures of my dick to the Internet, two obsessions I’m putting a stop to starting today. Being a dick to other dicks is great I went through a phase where I sought out thugs and hooligans from the BNP and EDL and then abused them mercilessly via the Internet until I made them cry like little girls or go kill themselves. It was awesome to reduce grown men, so called hard men, to tears and to stop an argument dead just by pointing out I don’t understand what, “IFUKINKILLU”, means because it’s not English. I also enjoyed pointing out that the Great, in Great Britain, doesn’t refer to Britain being better than good it’s actually a geographical reference, that always spun out the patriots, who you’d think would know a thing or two about Britain, nope turns out British, and especially English, patriots know fuck all about Britain/England.

Anyhow, I’ve abandoned my Internet attacks on the bigots and the morons, it starts out as fun, there was this one time I spent several days trying to find out why English racists and bigots hated Aslan and Narnia, I asked because they spelt Islam Aslan and I kept pretending I didn’t understand why they hated Aslan and even though they explained, quite angrily, that they meant Islam but had spelt it wrong I refused to accept their explanation and argued they were anti-Aslan arseholes and were now trying to get out of hating a beloved child’s hero by claiming they hated Islam a religion they knew absolutely nothing about.

From time to time they’d threaten to injure or kill me and I was always excited by this and responded with a YES PLEASE! But no one ever followed through with those threats because, HERE I AM.

Without my wasting hours and hours on the Internet anymore I instead shall be spending that wasted time reading a big pile of fucking awesome comic books and that’s a much better waste of my time. Yes I’m still fucking annoyed with British people, especially the idiot English, and for a while Brexit Britain, NOT a nation I want to live within, was amusing, just for the sheer pleasure of laughing at people who were lied to, everyone else knew they were being lied to, when they were told they were being lied to they couldn’t accept it and called the truth sayers liars and then the day after they voted leave based upon a bunch of lies the liars admitted they’d lied and now most of them have fled the scene. Still lying as they wave GOODBYEE!

At least I have lovely fucking comic books unlike Britain’s millions of fuckwits who have nothing, well I suppose they have drugs, beer, friends, lovers, family, money, fancy cars, holidays abroad, expensive clothes but fuck all that shit that’s the shit that causes the same fuckwits misery and depression.

Give me comic books any day.

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