I had intended to post this on the last day of July but living in Britain means having to suffer poor wifi and Internet connection. Sure we’re supposed to be the fifth, or sixth since Brexit, wealthiest nation on the planet but where all that wealth goes I have no idea it’s certainly not invested in infrastructure, science and technology I can tell thee. Nowt works properly here in Britain. Mobile phone signals are shocking in the most part, not that I care I don’t often use mobile phones. Here in Britain cell phones are known as mobile phones because you can take your cell phone with you everywhere you go. Makes sense, right?
Anyways. Here’s my July viewing:
1 Man Of Steel: I have hate for this movie. It’s a piece of shit. On Krypton people are bred for specific purposes, Jor-El for example was bred to be a scientist and Zod a warrior/soldier but, and hold on a minute, scientist Jor-El can take apart warriors/soldiers with very little physical effort upon his part. Really?
Let’s take a Caltech physicist and pit that scientist against five U.S. Navy Seals, who would win? Sigh, Man of Steel bad from the start gets worst as it progresses.
2 Batman versus Superman: Though I have hate for Man of Steel I have nothing but love for this movie.
3 The Good, The Bad and The Weird: Enjoyable.
4 John Wick 2: I absolutely adored this movie from start to finish. Keanu Reeves’ John Wick annihilates about a million faceless nameless bad guys, AWESOME!
5 O, Brother Where Art Thou? Though I have joy for this movie I always finish watching it thinking, ‘what was that about?’
6 Miller’s Crossing: One of the greats. In my opinion.
7 No Country For Old Men: It asks, in a round about way, what is all this about? Our world, our existences, what’s the fucking point? Some stuff, technology, medical care, gets better but the things people are prepared to do to one another gets worst. Greed, corruption, crime, endless violence, mass shootings and terrorism, the world, our worlds at least, have never been in such a fucking mess.
8 Die Hard: “Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…”
9 Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Okay –ish. I did dislike the fact it was an ape that started the war between apes and humans and I also dislike the fact humans are referred to as some kind of distinctive species separate from apes. Humans are apes. We’re also the most violent and aggressive monster, whoops I meant animal, the world as ever seen. If faced with an intelligent tribe of apes it would be us humans laying waste to them not the other way around.
10 American Ultra: Referred to as a stoner Bourne. It’s, for me, a fun movie it’s not great, there’s nothing stand out about it, it’s just a harmless little feature. I did find it amusing that the townsfolk of Liman where completely non-existent, there must have been about six people living in the town most of them law enforcement.
11 Zombieland: I’m no fan of modern movies but a few good ‘uns do exist like this little gem.
12 Enter The Dragon: My favourite kung-fu movie and the inspiration for Marvel comics Master of Kung-Fu.
13 Con Air: ‘Put the bunny back in the box.’
14 Olympus Has Fallen: Death filled fun.
15 London Has Fallen: It’s nice to see an action movie in my nations capital.
16 Blade: Great vampire action movie.
17 Blade 2: Good sequel.
18 Vampires: Bleak but fun.
19 A Nightmare On Elm Street: Confuses me how Freddy’s powers work but still an enjoyable horror romp.
20 Scream: Less a horror movie more of a thriller.
21 Freddy versus Jason: In my opinion not only the best Jason movie but also the best Freddy movie.
22 The Final Girls: Fun filled celebration of slasher pics.
23 Slither: Fun filled homage to fifties alien monster movies.
24 The Legend of Hell House: The best haunted house movie. In my opinion at least.
25 Day of the Dead (2008): Poor.
26 Hot Fuzz: In my opinion the best buddy cop movie EVER!
27 Pineapple Express: Hilarious upon first viewing meh on initial viewings.
28 Scott Pilgrim versus the World: In my opinion the best comic book movie EVER!
29 300: Fun.
30 The Mist: A honest interpretation of humankind under stressful circumstances.
31 The Wolfman: I find it an enjoyable monster movie.
32 Dracula: Prince of Darkness: I like it.
33 A Fistful of Dollars: A great remake of Yojimbo.
34 For A Few Dollars: Quality spaghetti western.
35 Texas Chainsaw: Stupid.
36 Phantasm: What a mess.
37 Re-Animator: Fun horror.
38 The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Contains probably the best scene, the entire shootout and aftermath at the cemetery, I’ve ever seen in a movie.
39 Once Upon A Time In The West: Probably the best movie I’ve ever seen.
40 Sukiyaki Western Django: Bonkers!
41 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Along with Fellowship my favourite of the Tolkien movies.
42 The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: Tragedy, doom and disaster. Great.
43 The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies: Great movie. Silmarillion next?
44 Spider-Man: Homecoming I didn’t like, or enjoy, any aspect of this movie I much prefer Sam Raimi’s Spidey movies.