Mutually Assured Destruction

IMG_0365

Mutually Assured Destruction is just plain mad, heh, here in Britain there’s due any day now, Thursday 8th of June, a General Election I’ll be voting for Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, but I won’t be voting for Labour it’s the personality, the person, I’m voting for not the awful party. Jeremy Corbyn is a potential Prime Minister who, sanely, claims he might not order a nuclear attack on an enemy state if there’s an atomic bomb attack on Britain. He’s the only potential PM with any sense, his ideas and opinions are sensible, rational, the idea Britain needs a nuclear deterrent is retarded and the idea Britain needs a leader prepared to launch atomic weapons is fuck-tarded. As a Briton I’m not enthused by a leader prepared to kill millions of innocents, including babies, in a foreign land so, for me, Jeremy Corbyn is a breath of fresh air.

Don’t get me wrong I love the idea of an atomic war but only the idea of, fictions, stories of an all out war in which people, somehow, survive and begin to rebuild while perhaps fending off mutants, evil Morlocks, or in some future fantasy type setting Orcs and Goblins. But in the real world having love for, a passion for, an atomic war is fucking stupid and the idea of retaliation if attacked is downright spiteful.

The world isn’t a fantasy world, it’s not like the movies, we’re not action men or women, movie love and romance is a lie, people can’t fly or shrug off being shot full of bullets, every minute of every day can’t be filled with happiness and laughter, genuine super villains and criminal masterminds don’t exist. The real world is grim, cruel and nasty and there are no such things as justice or fairness such ideas are, like the movies, fiction.

The real world needs leaders who live here and not leaders who live in a fantasy land.

Movie Madness May 2017

movie_header

I do love/hate the movies. Here’s my list of movies watched throughout the month of May.

1 Alien Resurrection: In anticipation of the new Alien movie I decided, wisely it seems, to watch an Alien movie I haven’t seen in an age, and I hated it which put me off going to the pictures to watch Alien Covenant.

2 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story: May the fourth be with you always. What a day. What a great day spent watching Star Wars movies starting with my first home viewing of Rogue One a fantastic addition to the Star Wars family.

3 Star Wars: The original and still the best. Well…

4 The Empire Strikes Back: … until Empire.

5 Return of the Jedi: It’s the best Star Wars movie for kids.

6 The Force Awakens: I love this movie more than I do life itself. Perhaps not my own life but certainly other people’s.

7 Godzilla Resurgence: Or SHIN Godzilla. I’m a sucker for a Godzilla movie and this newest version made me happy.

8 Kong: Skull Island: Awful. I’m not a fan of modern movies and this King Kong movie highlights, for me, how bad they are.

9 The Great Wall: It’s not a good movie but it is a daft movie with plenty of action sequences.

10 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter: Another awful movie. Apparently the plan is to remake the Resident Evil movies, I hope they make them better than the previous versions.

11 Underworld: Blood Wars: The Underworld franchise, like the Resident Evil franchise, as potential it just needs someone with more imagination and with a better story to tell tales set in this world.

12 I Am A Hero: I’m a big fan of the Manga this movie is based upon and though the movie doesn’t reach the heights of its parent it’s still a decent apocalypse movie.

13 Dead Rising: Endgame: Cheap and okay.

14 Pandemic: Boring!

15 Beacon Point: Rubbish!

16 The Monster: Pants!

17 The Guardians: Very disappointing. I was hoping for a mad crazy Russian superhero flick but it’s a tired addition to the superhero mix.

18 The Autopsy of Jane Doe: Reminded me of a similar horror movie the title of which eludes me. An effective and intriguing movie.

19 Doomsday: When I originally watched this Brit movie when it was released I found it disappointing now it seems to be an accurate depiction of both Scotland and England.

20 JAWS: Only the best movie ever made.

21 Ouija: Origin of Evil: Bloodless but enjoyable.

22 ZomBeavers: Surprisingly okay.

23 All Cheerleaders Die: BORING!!

24 Backcountry: Boyfriend/girlfriend go into woods and are eaten by a bear, unfortunately the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect of that ace idea takes precedence, all I wanted was man-eating bear eating man and woman instead I was given a relationship drama. Sigh!

25 Wyrmwood: The Road of the Dead: Enjoyable Aussie zombie action movie romp.

26 Warcraft: BAD!

27 Yoga Hosers: EVEN BADDER!!

28 Headshot: Acceptable fighting action movie.

29 Twin Peaks: Fire Come Walk With Me: Fine, damn fine.

30 The Matrix: A real to goodness classic.

31 Matrix Reloaded: Criticised by many for not being the movie they imagined inside their noggins but not by me I enjoy Reloaded more than I do The Matrix for the simple reason there’s more kung-fu fist and kick fighting in this movie than in the previous movie and I’m a sucker for kung-fu fighting.

Sure the philosophical musings get a tad too Manichean for most people’s liking instead of remaining stoically cynical, heh, but forget all the philosophising for a moment we the geeky movie goer are given some grand action set-pieces stuff we’ve never seen before, Neo’s fight with the multiple Smith’s and Morpheus’ fight atop a moving truck.

Besides I like the idea that everything Neo and Morpheus try and do has already been done before they’re just new characters acting out an old on going, never ending perhaps, story. Which kinda explains us crazy humans here in the real world, or real Matrix, the more things change the more they stay the same.

Look at us, take a good long look, our political leanings are old and tired and need revamping, our society’s are broken and corrupt, our religious leanings are ancient fictions based upon older smarter fictions, we, and the people who control us, keep repeating the same mistakes again and again and again, we’re supposed to be a thinking learning smart ape but we exhibit no smarts most of the time. We have no new ideas, sure society changes, technology makes us slaves and addicts but we’re no more advanced mentally or physically, if anything we’re regressing, time for change is long overdue. In my humble, or perhaps not so humble, opinion.

But I digress.

I imagine new Matrix movies, stories set solely inside the Matrix featuring new characters some of whom operate from outside the Matrix and only enter to confer with their agents and underlings inside and the entire storyline revolving around the simple idea of good versus evil but with an added bonus of the complexity of freedom fighter or terrorist?

From the humans, in Zion, point of view Neo and Morpheus are heroic freedom fighters but from the machines point of view the pair are terrorist leaders there’s a lot of ambiguity that can be used in future storylines, for example do the ends justify the means? In the first Matrix movie Trinity and Neo annihilate a building full of police officers, just wipe them out, now if that were to happen in real life, at a real American city, Neo and Trinity would be public enemies number one, cop killers, widow makers, run with that, play with that, are Neo and Morpheus good guys or are they, like real world terrorists, mad insane extremists out to wreck a system that offers peace and security?

Twin Peaks

IMG_0363

My first blog post of 2017. I do enjoy blogging, but only because I enjoy writing and expressing an opinion, mostly unpopular but an opinion nonetheless. Recently, excited due to a new season of the show, I watched seasons one and two again, the first time since the 1990’s actually, season one is possibly the best season of a TV show ever and season two is a mess, a marvellous mess but still a mess.

I have enjoyed Twin Peaks so much I own the series twice, DVD and blu-ray, the blu-ray version bought because my DVD version didn’t contain Fire Walk With Me and it was impossible to find the movie in my home town.

I can only speak for myself when I say, ‘new Twin Peaks is so bonkers it’s ace!’

So far it’s more bonkers than season two, I confess I have no idea, yet, what’s occurring within the series, no idea of what’s actually going on, and that’s why I like it, it’s mad, perhaps it’s genius, I can’t say for sure I’m an idiot I probably wouldn’t recognise genius if it ran up and head butted me in the face.

I don’t watch a lot of TV, for several reasons, one is because I’m British living in Brit-Land and I find British TV shows, except Doctor Who, boring and uninteresting, reason two is because I find it difficult to find TV shows that have something to say that piques my interest. I like bonkers, the more bonkers the show the more interested I am. I SHOULD like the Marvel and DC TV shows, as I’ve been a fan of the comics for forty years, but they’re so boring and the DC shows seem aimed at teenage girls, romance and love triangles play as big a part of story content as does kicking some super-villain in the ass.

Superhero shows should be fucking mental, instead they’re just bland.

Fortunately Twin Peaks exists, and that warms my cold bitter dead little heart.

New Doctor Who?

I haven’t wrote a blog post in what seems like an age due to my Internet connection being absolutely dreadful, though it doesn’t bother me, I’m a 20th century boy, it would be nice, in this the modern age, to have a decent and reliable Internet connection but I don’t. Apparently, here in the U.K. the Internet ain’t great, it’s supposed to be shocking in the nations capital, London, the cellular network is also shockingly bad, fortunately I’m not a phone person.

Purpose of this piece of writing is of course Doctor Who, the British television series, I’ve read recently the present actor portraying The Doctor Peter Capaldi might be planning to end his tenure in the role.

wil-wheaton

If Peter Capaldi is planning to quit his role I’d like to see Wil Wheaton become the new Doctor, I think he’d be extremely honoured and prepared to portray The Doctor for three or four seasons maybe more.

Maybe it’s time for the BBC to plan on giving the job to someone from a non Caucasian male background, although I would like to see a completely sinister dark Doctor portrayed by someone terribly English, a Doctor who really is a danger to the kinds of monsters and villains he faces. Or perhaps an epic five season storyline that features the return, for good, of the Time Lords, a science fiction version of Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings with The Doctor akin to the role of Gandalf the Grey, dying halfway through the story reincarnating as a new Doctor and then being all Gandalf the White for the remainder of the story.

I do like Doctor Who I want for it to continue for a long time to come.

His Name Is Kamandi

I have recently re-read (though it felt like reading for the first time) Kamandi The Last Boy On Earth by Jack Kirby, I own his works in two hardback volumes, and I’ve owned them since they were released.

cimg2458

Kamandi is kinda like the Charlton Heston movie Planet of the Apes, only better, I have great affection for Planet of the Apes and I often, and always at inopportune moments, shout out, ‘IT’S A MAD HOUSE! A MAD HOUSE!’ I refer of course to the (undeniable) fact that the world upon which we all live, and the only place we’ll call home, is indeed a mad house and it’s patients are running amok.

The title character Kamandi is the last surviving member of a group of people who escaped disaster (The Great Disaster) by hiding in a vast complex of underground bunkers these bunkers held generations of human survivors who managed to continue the human race, by the time of Kamandi’s stories the vast underground complex has been reduced to one survivor Kamandi the only true human boy left alive on the planet. Kamandi’s adventures begin when the vast underground complex, Command-D, is overrun by humanoid wolves and Kamandi discovers that humans have devolved while all the other animals have evolved, it’s a hard reality for Kamandi to accept and he’s constantly railing against the times in which he now lives often finding himself in conflict with intelligent animals because he can’t let go of the fact they were once used for entertainment and as pets when Man (foolishly) ruled the Earth.

kamandi_001_7239

Jack Kirby’s artwork throughout these two volumes is a joy to behold and I found myself immersed in his fictional world, craving to be somehow a part of it, The Last Geek/Nerd On Earth. Jack wasn’t merely the ‘King’ of comics he was also a master storyteller and no one tells a Kamandi story better than the ‘King’.

During his adventures Kamandi happens upon all kinds of highly evolved animals starting with Wolves and then Tigers, Apes, terrors of the seas and terrifying mutated giant insects, Kamandi meets and fights them all.

kamandi-2

As you can imagine being The Last Boy On Earth is enough to drive Kamandi insane and he spends much of the two volumes emoting about the lost human civilisation and faces terrible psychological turmoil as he’s thrown into all kinds of outrageous situations.

The story of course centres all the action on North America and it’s a devastated landscape fought over by Tiger and Ape empires and raped of its spoils by insidious reptilian intelligences. The action and adventure never seems to stop until it disappointingly does.

Kamandi The Last Boy On Earth has been sadly neglected by DC Comics in favour of a half dozen Superman and Batman books as a massive comic book geek I’d sooner buy and read a new Kamandi series rather than trouble myself with a bland Bat book.

I doubt Kamandi will ever appear in his own series again I guess it doesn’t matter I have ‘The King’s’ stories to keep me entertained over and over again.

kamandi

 

OMG! It’s Full Of Geeks

 

I HATE text message language, it’s just lazy. I used OMG in the title of my post so I could express my displeasure.

Today’s geek related comic book post is all about ME, ME, ME!

Well about my comic book purchases this week. I originally thought I had zero comic books this week and this made me feel a little sad.

sad

I also HATE feeling sad fortunately it only happens once in a blue moon. I also HATE emoticons, or whatever they’re called, I only used one above so I could express my displeasure.

This week’s surprise comic book stash cost me just over one hundred pounds, I allocate myself five hundred pounds spending money every month but I don’t spend five hundred pounds on geek related stuff every month, if I did I’d have to move home.

Again.

This week’s stash looked a little like this:

img_0444

Originally I had no intention of paying my local comic book shop (Ground Zero Comics here in marvellous Mansfield https://www.facebook.com/Ground-Zero-Comics-1672441529657830/?fref=ts) a visit this week until owner/manager/friend messaged to let me know I had some comic books to (HAPPILY) purchase.

MY HERO ACADEMIA

Is a Japanese comic book series, a Manga, the story centres around a teenage boy who through dedication and a lot of hard work inherits super powers allowing him to enrol at a school that trains the next generation of superheroes. It’s kinda like the X-Men/New Mutants/Generation X but without the super charged angst, soap opera and over written storylines and plots.

The series, translated into English, is on volume five and I find it an enjoyable, quirky, fun series.

ROBIN: SON OF BATMAN

Damian Wayne died but was resurrected like all good (and bad) superheroes these days, I know, sigh! Fortunately he came back to life less petulant, less annoying and less all knowing now he’s an interesting character with a good supporting cast and his Rogue’s Gallery is full of the insane.

The artwork and colours are lovely to look at which is kind of the point of comic books. I thoroughly enjoyed the first volume and I’m hoping volume two is equally as enjoyable.

EDDIE CAMPBELL COLLECTION

Back in the mists of time I happily read Eddie Campbell’s Alec and Bacchus both series offered something different from the adventures of men and women in their underwear punching each other out of existence that I found myself immersed within.

Once I noticed this big (kill an adult male dead with a single blow) collection I knew it must be mine. The stories told within these collected editions entertained me during my time in my home century and I’m hoping they entertain me again in this alien century I find myself lost within.

The creator of this wonderful collection, Eddie Campbell, is probably best known for his collaboration with Alan Moore on the Jack the Ripper series From Hell, that was made into a terrible movie starring Johnny Depp.

Out Of The Blue 

My comic book stash this week was a pleasant surprise and though I was happy before I knew I had comic book goodies to purchase I was even happier after I knew.

Someone (a clever person?) once said, ‘it’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.’

I concur.

They’re Coming Back

Once more (and in Caps Lock mode for added emphasis) THEY’RE FUCKING COMING BACK! Hmm, how did that swear manage to get in there? I’ve written the words but even I don’t know, one of those ‘go figure’ moments I guess.

In comic book news, gleaned from the website Bleeding Cool, DC Comics might be reviving the Legion of Superheroes, my all time favourite superhero team, the writer of this future (see what I did there?) series will be one of the following well known (to us comic book fans) names:

Dan DiDio, Tom King, Hope Larson, James Tynion IV, Paul Levitz, Keith Giffen, Dan Jurgens or Yannick Paquette.

I’ve been a fan of the LoSH for almost forty years I’ll be hoping for a Levitz/Giffen team-up but if I could choose a writer (and someone other than Grant Morrison) to write the series I’d choose Jonathan Hickman his work on the Fantastic Four was as good as Walter Simonson’s, John Byrne’s and Kirby/Lee, his Avengers work, though not as good as his FF, was the best Avengers have ever been, in my humble opinion.

LoSH 2

For me Legion of Superheroes SHOULD be Star Trek and Star Wars and Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica and Babylon 5 all rolled into one awesome Stuart Immonen illustrated package.

I have an idea for a long running storyline featuring the Legion it begins with the Legion welcoming a new member, male or female human or alien it doesn’t matter, and over the course of the first twelve issues the Universe laws and rules are established. The new member of the Legion is written as a compelling relatable person/alien but with ideas that are hardly Legion like and the character having a strong personality causes other Legionnaires to agree that the Legion needs to change with the changes the 31st century has to offer. This new member causes a schism in the ranks and the Legion splits in two, one the Legion fans know and love the other a darker more modern version of the Legion, a spin-off title Legion Dark would be made possible.

For the second year I imagine an all encompassing storyline that features Lovecraftian type monstrosities attacking the United Planets and both Legions struggling to protect the reality they know, this storyline could run for a very long time and examine the realities of a war with invaders from outside of the Universe, what would be their motivations to want to invade, conquer and perhaps destroy everything? How utterly alien would they be?

Lovecraft hints in his stories that monsters from outside the universe we know, and love, wouldn’t be bound by the physical laws of our reality and that they’d be composed of materials completely different from anything else in our Universe. 

I for one welcome new adventures of the Legion I just hope the creative team are the right people for the job and the characters are treated with respect, nay, reverence.

LoSH 1

Blog This! Blog That! Blog Off!

blog-off

Apparently a blog should be solely dedicated to one topic, one theme, one subject my blog bucks this trend, or Law, it’s a rambling random nonsense blog full of my ideas, thoughts and unpopular opinions (I find unpopular opinions the only opinions worth having). I must confess I wasn’t aware of the rules of blogging I figured a blogger just wrote any old crap that leapt to mind and damn the consequences.

With the Laws of Blogging finally revealed to me, late in the day as usual, I’ve decided to (try) and write every post after this post about one subject and one subject only and that subject will be my favourite past time/hobby/interest/thing: Comic Books!

Comic books cover such fertile ground it’s possible to write about anything while supposedly writing about comic books, as well as writing about the latest releases I can make commentary about any comic books news I’ve read elsewhere on the Internet and express an opinion about said news.

Happily comic books only appeal to a minority so by choosing to blog about my favourite thing in the entire world it’s not like I’m trying to write a popular blog that manages to make me money. I have no interest in being popular, I prefer to be unpopular, and I have no real interest in money. The accumulation of wealth would be of no major benefit to me, sure it would be nice to have enough money to retire from work but I get by okay on less than fifteen grand a year, my lifestyle is simple, I like it and enjoy it, I don’t want it to change from being simple if I were to win the jackpot of a lottery, millions of pounds suddenly rolling in to my bank account my lifestyle would remain the same I’d just have more time to spend reading comic books.

Superman and Spider-Man

 Every week (just about) I read the adventures of both the Man of Steel and of the amazing, the spectacular, the sensational Spider-Man recently I noticed that both characters are happy jolly individuals, in stark contrast to The Batman and The Punisher. Neither character seems bitter about their roles in their respective fictional universes and though both have experienced hardships both approach life with a positive attitude it’s probably why Superman’s my favourite DC character and Spider-Man one of my top three Marvel characters (Thor Odinson and The Thing my other two favourite Marvel characters). Both Superman and Spider-Man make for great role models.

Whenever I’m interacting with other people, usually at work, I try to think what would Superman do? Or Spider-Man say in this situation? My responsibilities at my place of employ centre around the support of Service Users I’m forever using, inside my head, ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ as I operate in and around my workplace, and I ensure my time at my workplace revolves around the Service Users as I keep them entertained, play the fool for their benefit, act like a kid and generally make sure the Service Users are laughing and joking. I figure Superman, and especially Spider-Man, would keep Service Users well entertained if they had to help support their wants and needs.

I’m not sure which superhero is the most jolly, is it Superman or is it Spider-Man? I guess it doesn’t really matter both seem super happy and both seem to inspire happiness in others. You never see Superman (Post-Crisis) having arguments or upsetting his adoptive parents or Spider-Man raging at Aunt May both characters have fun loving relationships with their adoptive parents.

Superman

Superman-flying

Doomed planet. Desperate scientists. Last hope. Kindly couple. Grant Morrison’s explanation of Superman’s origins in his All Star Superman story is the best use of Superman’s origin I’ve ever seen. Usually when a character is enjoying a re-boot or re-imagining, or new movie series, the characters origin is poured over again and again and again. I don’t need another story telling me the origin of Superman in the comic books it’s been done so many times, each time slightly different that it’s kind of annoying for Superman’s origin I prefer Pre-Crisis storylines and Pre-Crisis Krypton, it’s a world that belongs in a Fifties science fiction movie, bright gaudy costumes, rocket ships, laser pistols, a proper Flash Gordon/Buck Rogers type world. In the movies I prefer the Krypton, and origin of Superman, from Superman: The Movie, Marlon Brando as Jor-El Superman’s father, come on it’s Marlon freakin’ Brando as Superman’s father it doesn’t get much more awesome than that, in fact the only way it could be more awesome is if it was my Superman movie (the one that exists inside my head) that features Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jor-El.

‘Live as one of them, Kal-El, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. But always hold in your heart the pride of your special heritage. They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you… my only son.’

Imagine that classic iconic piece of movie dialogue delivered by Arnie it would be as awesome as this:

John Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?

Sully: That’s right, Matrix! You did!

John Matrix: I lied.

I LIED! Delivered in a fake Austrian accent is the one piece of movie dialogue I use the most, whenever I’ve purposely lied about something and then been found out I make sure I sound a little like John Matrix (great name by the way).

Superman lost not only his parents but his entire world, everyone who was like him, washed ashore a primitive world with a million different problems all of them petty and pathetic he Superman is the most human of all fictional characters but he’s an alien, remarkable. He’s the person you can rely upon to do the right thing no matter what and even if he’s faced with the prospect of excruciating death by green kryptonite he’ll still manage somehow to save us all.

What an alien guy.

Spider-Man

steve-ditko-amazing-spider-man-161

My favourite version of Spider-Man, and more specifically Peter Parker, is Steve Ditko’s once he left the Spider-Man comic and John Romita replaced him Peter Parker went from loveable nerd to cool kid the very next issue I didn’t like that, I want Peter Parker back, perhaps he’s been locked away in a cryogenic chamber all these years as his horrid cool kid clone has ran rampant throughout the Marvel Universe. Or have we already had that storyline?

Spider-Man suffered terrible tragedy early in life, his parents dying in a car accident, he didn’t train himself to be a competent psychopath and carry out a war on motor vehicles instead he became a bright young kid with a promising future but then out of nowhere he gained amazing super powers, which made him go a little nuts to begin with, only the death of his beloved Uncle Ben managed to save Spider-Man from a hedonistic lifestyle of pleasure without pain.

Hit with tragedy for a second time Spider-Man didn’t decide to start a war on the poor or become a serial killer instead he became a hero, one of the most respected heroes in the Marvel Universe, time after time he put his life on the line to stop bad guys, usually bank robbers and petty crooks, but he helped save the world on more than one occasion he did all these things while his personal life was falling apart this didn’t turn him into a psychopath, a murderer, instead it pushed him to do greater good and he’s continued to sacrifice his own life to ensure the people of New York City live in relative peace.

What a guy.

Both Superman and Spider-Man need honouring for their dedication to always doing the right thing no matter what they’ve not let tragedy and pain dictate how they respond to the world or operate within it instead they’ve used moments that have broken lesser men as a means to galvanise themselves into selfless actions. They’ve both loved, Superman Lois Lane, who he has a child with, and Spider-Man Mary Jane, who he had a kid with, and both characters seem to learn from mistakes they’ve made and try and ensure they don’t repeat them.

Both Superman and Spider-Man seem like really happy chappies great examples of happy people they both seem to be grateful for the lives they lead, and have led, and both seem grateful for the immense powers they possess. I don’t think I’ve ever read a story featuring either character in which they’ve been lacking in gratitude big headed or overbearing they’re humble guys having been brought up with real world good to honest decent points of view. Both characters ensure they use their powers for the greater good and both seem pleasant always smiling and laughing, having a good natured joke with work colleagues while in their civilian identities, enjoying the company of family and friends, everyone who knows them in their secret identities finds them perfectly reasonable individuals no ones got a bad word to say about Clark Kent or Peter Parker because both are good guys.

Every good guy in the DCU wants to be Superman’s friend, I doubt there’s anyone in the Justice League who dislikes the happy fella, even The Batman, dark knight that he is, considers Superman his best friend, his super friend. As for Spider-Man during his run as an Avenger not only was he well liked he was (almost) revered and now, as Peter Parker, he’s surrounded by a team of happy go lucky scientists who think he’s a swell guy and that’s because he is a swell guy.

Superman and Spider-Man are the types of character I’m happy to admire and idolise they’re the types of happy people that inspire me and who I aspire to be. On those rare occasions I feel a bit sad, woe is me, I pick up a comic book featuring the adventures of Superman, or Spider-Man, and my moments of sadness disappear into the ether.

Batman And The Punisher

I confess I’m a big fan of comic book characters, I regularly read the adventures of both The Batman and The Punisher recently I noticed that both characters just aren’t happy individuals, they’re both bitter and they both hold grudges. They’re both well liked, within the comic book community, for being such dark bitter angry asshats. But they’re not good role models because we shouldn’t be bitter, hold grudges or be angry.

Only recently I caught myself, in conversation, expressing hate towards people I once knew, once worked with, later in the day I examined, inspected, observed and researched my anger and notion of hate and realised I don’t actually hate anyone I was just being overly dramatic. Being hateful, holding grudges just seemed ridiculous I laughed at myself and then mocked myself for being a nincompoop. A nincompoop is a fool and being a fool is something I’ve always been.

The Batman and The Punisher are also fools, grand nincompoops, both have suffered tragedy but rather than getting over it, and themselves, they instead allowed themselves to be consumed by hate and embraced psychopathic tendencies.

I don’t know who is more unhappy The Batman or The Punisher ones a billionaire with a fetish for dressing as a giant bat and beating up the poor the other enjoys killing people both are assholes but ones probably worst than the other.

The Batman


At an early age Bruce Wayne saw his mother and father gunned to death in the Gotham streets. The killer may have had mental health issues and just required professional help and medication. The murderer might have been a low-life criminal scumbag with a drug problem, gambling debts, nowhere to call home, no one to love him and in a desperate situation committed a desperate act that haunted him for the rest of his life.

Obviously the murder of his parents affected Bruce Wayne in all kinds of weird and wonderful ways but instead of becoming a psychopath preying on the poor he could have used his inherited wealth to help the poor of Gotham. Improved education, ensured the poor had access to affordable, or free, medical care, provided jobs, built housing but no instead Bruce Wayne blamed poor people for the death of his parents and went to war on them.

What an asshole.

The Punisher


Was already a psychopath before his family were accidentally slaughtered during gang warfare. I suspect his descent into the abyss was inevitable. Unlike The Batman Frank Castle had already been brutalised by institutions the military industrial complex had turned him into a killing machine without mercy, remorse or empathy. If his family hadn’t been killed accidentally by criminal scum he’d probably have killed them himself because they were annoying, needy, too noisy.

It’s weird that The Punisher, a mass murderer and serial killer, is considered a hero there’s not many villains in Marvel comics with a bigger body count to their name than Frank Castle, now you could justify The Punisher’s murderous assault by claiming criminals deserve to be punished until they’re dead but everyone of his victims was a son, or daughter, to parents who loved them, some of The Punisher’s victims were probably parents themselves. A lot of The Punisher’s victims sold drugs, their only crime, they weren’t all killers or paedophiles, and what’s worst selling drugs or killing people? If murder is worst than drug dealing then The Punisher is a worst person than most of those he’s killed.

Both The Batman and The Punisher need punishing for their violent crimes, arrest followed by prison sentences, Frank Castle for life, and while suffering in prison both characters need to lighten up a little, stop taking life so damn seriously, both vigilantes/madmen are perfect examples of miserable people.

Both The Batman and The Punisher are hanging on to things that cause them to be unhappy and both express their unhappiness via violent means. Does The Batman ever take time out just to enjoy being Bruce Wayne? No, when he’s not obsessing over a crime he’s obsessing about his parents deaths decades before. I don’t think The Batman loves anyone or anything, I doubt he has love for himself, The Punisher probably loves his guns but nothing else. Neither character seems to learn from their mistakes the stories told about them seem to go over and over the same mistakes again and again and again without end. If you don’t learn from your mistakes then you’re doomed to repeat them.

Both The Batman and The Punisher are examples of the type of person who cares what people think though they fake being indifferent. Why spend any time worrying about what people think? If you’re a good, honest, decent person then what people think doesn’t matter if you’re a bad person you don’t care because fuck ’em but The Batman and The Punisher care because it’s a kick to their massive egos, how dare people criticise me? Who do they think they are? I’ll fucking smack ’em. Stab their eyes out with my trusty Army knife.

Does The Batman have any friends? His colleagues in the Justice League might respect, even fear, him but are any of them his friends? I know he and Superman are supposed to be the best of friends, super friends, and that was true Pre-Crisis but Post-Crisis Batman is such a psychopathic asshole I can’t see Superman being his friend. As for The Punisher if he had any friends he’s either gotten them killed or killed them himself.

Being a happy person requires regular daily sleep and I’ve never seen The Batman or The Punisher sleeping they’re always to busy making someone else’s life as unpleasant as their own and is that their purpose? To bring down misery and pain because they’re miserable and in pain?

What are their long term goals? The Batman hasn’t made Gotham a better place, in fact it’s probably worst and The Punisher’s war on crime is impossible to realise all he can do is keep on fighting until the bitter end.

I think there are lessons to be learnt from The Batman and The Punisher they’re not characters to admire or idolise instead they are learning tools, don’t be as unhappy and bitter as The Batman and The Punisher otherwise you’ll end up a psychopath.